Today we drove to Mt. Washington Resort to have a night to relax before a wedding tomorrow.
I took my daughter as my date. I honestly couldn’t think of a better dancing partner.
The drive up was long and I listened to Elissa Wall on Mormon Stories for most of it. I’ve been really captivated by her story of survival.
At one point she spoke about the consistent gaslighting of being told she’s unworthy and how it will be a lifelong battle to work through that story – reframing and reworking.
I resonated very much with that narrative. I was told I’d be nothing, do nothing, go nowhere. I was taught my words didn’t matter and my body deserved to be abused.
As I got older, that narrative continued and was replicated in relationships – where I was told constantly, by multiple men who claimed to love me, that they knew my thoughts and feelings better than I do.
I’m grateful to have an instinct that always challenged those narratives. I may have a life’s history of abuse – but I also have a life’s history of saying fuck you to every abuser.
